11 October 2011

You'll have the time of your life!

 I want to believe everyone, believe me, there's nothing I'd love more. But fact, having spent a week here and despite having met some brilliant people I don't think I am going to enjoy uni life. I'm too much of a home girl, I'm not the girl who goes looking for an adventure, I'm the one who'll happily stay in and do the familiar much to the long-term aggreivement of my friends.

I don't enjoy the parties.
I don't enjoy the independence.
I don't enjoy the being away from home.
I don't enjoy meeting new people, even though they're great people to spend time with.

And yet I'm the one of my new friends who's staying this first weekend.
The one who's sticking it out.


It's too far, I don't want to force my parents into a total of six hours driving at the end of every week.
I don't want to be a disappointment, I'm the first of my parents children to go, and they're so proud, how can I bear to let them down.
At some point in my future this may be of benefit to me, this ability to stick out the tough times and just get on with it.
Having a degree will benefit me and my boyfriend in the long-term.

But I'm scared, there's a million things scaring me, not least the fact that I'm doing a maths degree and speaking statistically it's incredibly unlikely my boyfriend and I will make it through this as a couple, but I think I'll break if we don't.
My diet has gone to pot because my cooking skills are pretty much limited to baking and I have neither the patience nor the drive to learn anything more than heating up a tin of food in the microwave.
I hate being away from home. I hate the amount of freedom it's taken from me. And the fact it's forced me to put trust into people I barely know.
I miss my family and my friends. Most of all I miss my boyfriend. I miss being in a place I know so well I could walk it blindfolded.

The truth of it is, I'm just not settling in very well...


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