Sometimes

Sometimes I feel listless. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. I was planning on writing an interesting post tonight but an amalgamation of things means that hasn't happened. 

I'm stressing a little at the moment because my Student Finance hasn't come through yet. It should have done, it's been approved and I've been registered, but what this does mean is that I currently have little to live on and my tuition fees havn't been paid.

Fun times!

Anyways, tell me something interesting about your life instead?

Rowen

On being a First Year

I finished my first year at Uni a little over a month ago. I complained early on about various things. Some of those things didn't much change, others did.


After completing an entire year I'm still not entirely sure I fit there. I love the lectures and the atmosphere during the daytime but I was not somebody who was made for a nightlife! However towards the end of the year as money ran out and study became important people made less noise between midnight and 5am and I was able to get actual REM sleep.


The thing I would personally describe as the worst thing about living in halls is the fire alarms. Sure I know we need them, and I get that they need to be tested them, I don't mind them doing that during daylight hours for about 30 seconds. What was an issue was that at least once a week someone would come home drunk in the middle of the night and in their drunken state set the fire alarm off. There were 22 flats in my building, and with a fire alarm in every room it's unsurprising they were set off with some frequency. 


The fire alarm situation was epitomised by two incidents. The first was when, only two days after moving in, a guy in my flat decided to defrost a bagel in the microwave for 10 minutes while he went outside for a smoke. The result being that the bagel turned to charcoal, our flat was a solid smoke field and he earned himself the name Arty Bagel for the rest of the year.


The second incident was when at about Midnight the entire building was evacuated, by this point we knew the procedure, go down the stairs, mill around outside for roughly 5 minutes while you waited for security to turn up and send you back in. We were quite surprised when this time we were greeted by an RA running towards us in dressing gown and slippers 'GET AWAY FROM THE BUILDING'. We had to stay outside for over an hour that night, turned out someone's laptop had blown up...


In February this year, the very weekend my boyfriend came to stay with me for his birthday, someone else had a friend to stay. They went out for the night and got paralytic. They came back at 2am and my flatmate went to bed putting his friends up in the kitchen without access to a toilet. We were woken up not much later to very loud blasphemous cursing. My boyfriend, poor boyfriend, went out to investigate and was met by poo. Turns out the friend had pooed and then smeared it up and down our corridor and kitchen. The worst part, this 'friend' actually was in the same flat at a different Uni as one of my high school friends. For weeks we would walk around campus greeted by the phrase 'You're from that flat aren't you?' 'Yes, turns out we are.' 'I feel so sorry for you. I just don't understand why!' 


There were many and various other things happen in and around our flat including but not exclusive to; flooding, kitchen coitus and a very Sheldon-like *knock knock knock* 'George' *knock knock knock* 'George' *knock knock knock* 'George'!


Turns out I like lectures, but not halls. Who would've guessed?


What were your Uni experiences like?


Rowen

Money Matters

While I was growing up the economy was pretty much stable. Nothing bad ever seemed to happen to it, my parents both had stable jobs, with my dad in the same one he'd had since he'd joined the workforce age 18.

When I was 14 the first recession in approximately 17 years struck. Apart from the week or so following the Twin Towers disaster the economy had seen very few tremors of a serious nature in a very long time.

I guess human nature crept in and people started to gamble. They thought they were safe and the recession hit. In the past four years I have seen the world I grew up in, which was a safe and stable environment where it was fairly likely you'd be able to get a job, transformed into a crumbling wreck. Part of this is simply the veil of childhood being lifted from my eyes. I can see clearly what was there all along, but that certainly didn't lead to the fairly solid town centre I knew turning into streets of boarded up windows and crummy seasonal stores which seem to be the only things which survive, perhaps due to the fact that they emerge already with a limited duration.

When the recession first hit people said it'll recover quickly it's strong. And then the second recession hit so we're now in a place where no matter what qualifications you've got you'll struggle to find a place as a newcomer in an already developed world. I know this, despite being qualified my boyfriend has been struggling to find permanent work for three years now, relying on a series of temp jobs and hoping to come across something he can keep. In the past year it's looked hopeful he's had a series of longer term temp jobs with smalller breaks in between them.

As of today however the future looks bleaker. It was today announced that the UK economy has once again shrunk. Shrunk at a smaller rate than previously, but none-the-less a negative turn after the apparant growth over the previous quarter. It could be a turning point, with the economy shrinking less it is only to be hoped that soon it will pick up and begin to grow again.

That is all I can hope, because if not, then in three or four years time I'm going to leave university with a degree which may be all but worthless and enter a world of work unable to find a job which is worth the hours of study put in to earn it.

Rowen

Recap of My 2011

2011 has been a very strange year for me. I'm used to following patterns and doing the same things in the same order every week, month and year, with some minor variations. This year saw my world shake as I tried new things and moved onto new life stages. I've enjoyed it for the most part, but it has most certainly been different!

January

January saw me decide to try and make a quilt. I decided to make it by hand and was perhaps a tad optimistic designing one which contained over 200 6inch squares. It remains an ongoing project.

February

In February for the very first time my boyfriend and I celebrated his birthday together.

March

March this year I started my blog. A major move for me as I'm generally quite a shy person, at least when it involves face to face, but having been reading blogs for a while, and being captivated by my younger sister's blog I decided to bite the bullet and give it a go. After reading 'The Name of the Wind' by Patrick Rothfuss and posting my very own review My little Library was born.

April

The most major event this april was the Royal Wedding. It was major. There was a hoohah. Press from half the world flocked to our country. And it saw the birth of the obsessive culture surrounding Pippa Middleton's behind. I joined the millions who watched the wedding live on television, I only watched the wedding and not any of the reception which was aired afterwards.
On a less major note for most people, but just as important to me, two days prior to the event of the year marked two years together for myself and my boyfriend. It put a major smile on my face, especially when he took me out to dinner at what is possibly my favourite restaurant, Churchs.

May

I turned 18 this may. Some of my friends came to a picnic in the park for my lunch and others helped me celebrate with my first evening out. My Grandparents also bought me a new digital camera which has helped me no end with this blog, and just taking nice photos in general.

May also marked the start of exam period which was right over half term excluding me from the Scout Camp I very much wanted to go on.

June

In June I finished my exams and spent the rest of the time being very lazy around the house when I wasn't doing housework for my mum. It was brilliant, I loved being able to just take the time just to read and do nothing.

July

At the very start of the month My boyfriend took me to Cadbury World, which as a devoted chocolate lover couldn't have been any better!
July also saw two major firsts for me. I started the first job I've ever had at Choices Clothes which is very close to where I live, I couldn't have asked for a better place to have started to learn about the world of work! It was a very traditional setting in many ways with a very much familial feel, which was enhanced as I've known my employers and many of the staff for a long time.
The other major first was that while the rest of my family left for the family holiday as per usual I was left behind.This was my choice as I had been hoping all along to have been able to get some work during the period, but it certainly felt strange.

August

In August I took an accidental blog-break. This partly stemmed from my new job and university preparations and partly from the fact that I started following a lot of new blogs all at once and found myself backlogged far too much.
I also picked up my A-level results, which I think will be one of the most stressful days I will ever have, and recieved an offer of a place at the University of Hertfordshire.
There was my annual 3-days of helping at a Church holiday club, and a three-day trip to Rome during a heatwave which was an 18th birthday present from my parents. Rome was as brilliant as I ever imagined it to be and it really sparked my imagination.

Then perhaps the geekiest part of my year, but something I loved, I went to Insomnia43 with my boyfriend, a couple of local friends and some online friends. Not only did we have a geekily good time, but we entered and came second in a Minecraft competition when none of us had been playing longer than a month, and most (including me) less than a week! If you watch the round up video you can see both my boyfriend and the back of my head... I felt a little strange as my laptop was less than 1/4 of the size of most peoples machines :S

Finally in August I provoked some friends into agreeing to participate in The Dickens Periodical which was intended as a weekly 'magazine-style' blog collaboration, but which developed into something more monthly.

September

The end of September saw major upheaval to my life as I moved to university. It wasn't until the end of the month and I didn't much enjoy the buildup to it. My summer job ended and I felt like I was packing my life into a box.

October

October definately wasn't my favourite month of the past year. I wasn't enjoying living away from home, I was homesick, I didn't enjoy cooking for myself and perhaps the thing I enjoyed least of all was being woken up in the early hours more days than not. The one brightside for me was my course which I absoluetly loved!
My prospect brightened a lot after 4 weeks when I came home for the first time. My parents persuaded me they could come and get me every weekend if I wanted and suddenly life seemed a lot more bearable.

November

In November I met up with my boyfriend and friends in London to see the fireworks which are held annually. It saw my first foray into solo train travel and gave me an added degree of freedom as I was now able to just get myself to the train station and catch a train home if I felt I couldn't take anymore.

December

December was a month I had been counting down until. For the first time I was able to come home for longer than just a weekend. It didn't disappoint, days of being able to sleep interrupted and more time working at Choices. Christmas was brilliant, seeing all of my family, and getting brilliant presents. One of the favourites of mine, and perhaps the most Trivial was my brand new Klein bottle.

What's in store for 2012...?

In 2012 I'm hoping;

• To settle in at Uni more still.
• To read 52 books as part of a Charity challenge my friend and I set ourselves, to find out more head here.
• To publish 12 more issues of The Dickens Periodical.
• To pass my first year at Uni without needing to retake anything, with a Mechanics module coming up this could be a challenge.
• To go swimming 3 times a week.
• To start cooking healthy food for myself.
• To finish making the quilt squares for my very first quilt.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

Rowen

The Trial and Tribulations of Train Travel

You've probably gathered by now that I would much prefer to go home as often as possible than stay at University so it should come as no surprise that I decided to go home this weekend. The easiest way for me to do this, for my family more than myself, although it does mean extra nights of good sleep for me, is to catch the train home on the friday evening and back to the university on the monday morning.

This weekend that was what I did. The journey home went, as it always has, smoothly. There was a minor hiccup when I had to change as I was unsure where the platform I needed was, and the train was slightly more than comfortably crowded. It's been a while since I've seen a train that crowded. But the point was that we made it to my destination without any major crises on my part.

The journey back was less of a smooth ride. For a start my dad was taking me to the station, but he was then going on to drop my sister at her sixth form college. This meant that we had to wait for her, and ended up leaving possibly a full 5 minutes later than intended. We got to the station and I figured out what platform I needed, lo and behold they announce my train is now in the station. This is a situation which would normally lead to me running to make sure I don't miss it, but that becomes slightly less practical when you're carrying two heavy bags that you're already struggling to lug up the stairs. I really need to get a suitcase!

I made it onto the train I'd planned to catch, if I hadn't then it wouldn't have been the end of the world as I had an all day open single, however it was by  mere seconds, I think the train left slightly early. If I'd missed the train I honestly think I might've cried.

The actual journey was effortless, a little crowded at points, but smooth sailing. There weren't even any delays which I thanked my lucky stars for as the last time I made this Journey less than 5 minutes after the second train leaving the station we were delayed for a full 25 minutes. No-ones fault but it ended up in needing a second train-change as the one I was on had to change routes to go straight through the small station I needed on it's way to London.

Today though my trials were not to end with nearly missing a train, because on my way out of the station the machine ate my ticket. Fortunately for me I don't need it again,  and there was a kind gentleman who saw what happened and opened the gate for me.

After that I nearly fell onto every person on the bus due to being overbalanced by my heavy bags and got back to the University to discover that today we're having room inspections. All I can say is thank goodness I tidied up before I left on friday!

Off to have a lecture now...

Rowen

First Sunday of Advent - 2011

Today was the first sunday of Advent. While this made me happy because it means in 3 weeks I'll be home for another 3 weeks, it also made me a little sad, because for as long as I can remember I've gone to every single Advent sunday at my church. And every one of those sundays I would watch the candle be lit and say a little prayer. Only today I wasn't at my church. I was in my room in Uni halls, over 50 miles away, which although not far is too far.

So i got my Sister to take a picture of a candle for me, we're not allowed candles here, let alone to light them.

And I said a little prayer.

This week I prayed for those serving in Afghanistan. I prayed for the health and happiness of my family and friends.

And I just thought a little while. It made me peaceful.

Do you have traditional Advent celebrations?

Rowen

Linear Algebra

This module has been a major disappointment to me since I started it.

Linear algebra makes you think of the simple linear equations which you start to learn about when you're approximately in year 9, however this module is missing all of its simplicity.

It's actually only half a module and the other half which I thought I would enjoy less I find myself enjoying more.

My point I guess is that the university modules are like a book, you can't necessarialy judge from the cover and blurb how much you'll like it. There are those which will fulfil all your expectations, those which you know you'll dislike and do, those you discover you like much more than you anticipated and those, like linear algebra, which smash all of your hopes to splinters.

Rowen

Elements of a love story

I'm one of those cynic few, I suppose it's cynic at any rate, who believe that any love story is made up of  approximately 7 essential elements. It makes it no less magical to me, it just means that i'm able to place exactly where in the story I am by what's already happened.

These elements in my opinion are;

• The two meet/remeet each other and either get off on a bad footing(more common) or fall instantly in love (less common because in the type of story i normally read this would make the rest of the story void, although it has it's place, if for example they need to fight their situation rather than each other to be together).
• The two are forced into a rather excessive amount of contact with each other for no apparant reason, often against the will of one party or the other.
• The two discover they have a lot in common, or at least a startling amount of chemistry.
• She tells him she hates him, possibly despite the fact she already knows she loves him.
• He either despairs and goes off only to realise he can't live without her or becomes determined to make her see his good qualities.
• The couple declare their undying love for one another.
• The two get married or make some sort of lasting commitment to one another.

The epitome of this for me, is not the common romeo and juliet, but pride and prejudice.

When Elizabeth Bennett and Mr Darcy meet they definately get off on the wrong footing. Meeting at a ball where he displays his pride much to her displeasure.

The two spend an awful lot of time together, although not a lot of it in intimate society at the beginning of the story. Mostly at balls, although they are also forced together when Jane Bennett becomes ill, and later at Mr Darcy's aunts.

Elizabeth has very little respect for Mr Darcy, compounded by rumours which she is told. However he becomes attracted to her. In the 1995 Tv adaptation it is in the first episode that he first expresses an admiration for her 'fine eyes'.

Mr Darcy then proposes to Elizabeth. She tells him in no uncertain terms that she would never marry him, that she does in fact despise him.

He despairs at this point, resolves to leave her alone, but does try to improve her opinion of him on some points. When they then spend more time together, coincidentally, she begins to see him in a better light, and a softer side to him.

He proposes a second time and she tells him she's actually been in love with him for some time now.

The couple get married.

The 1995 Tv adaptation is one of my all-time favourite go-to feel-good watches, despite the fact that I was only 2 when it aired. Despite the fact that it isn't my favourite book, or even my favourite Austen. I can't get enough of the Tv series.

I'm currently educating one of my flat-mates :P

Here's to us all finding our very own Mr Darcy!

Rowen

Respect

I think that in many ways respect is an abstract concept nowadays. Political correctness has blurred the borders. I thought that my sister's boyfriend made a very good point recently when he posted a rantlet on facebook about using 'Miss' and 'Sir' as terms of respect and how he thinks that some of that is lost when you reach higher education and are able to call your teachers/lecturers by their first names. I think that he's right. They're not our equals, as using their first name implies, they are our superiors, they know more than us and are trying to pass that on.

This point was raised in my mind during several lectures I've had over the past week where the lecturer has had to tell people who were talking to stop, and in one case gave up and ended the lecture. Personally at that point I was disappointed as I was sincerely interested in what he had been trying to say. However it hadn't been a small portion of the lecture group who had been talking over him.

I can understand going to a lecture and getting bored, it's happened to me on more than one occasion, but I still can't understand how you can be so disrespectful and start talking over the lecturer. If someone doesn't want to listen to a lecture that in my opinion is fine, it doesn't bother me... as long as they ignore what's being said quietly. At that point they're going to probably fail anyway but I'm paying to be there as are many others who actually want to learn. It becomes a point of disrespect to all of us as well.

Another point of disrespect I've come across since being here is noise. People who get drunk tend to get louder, I get that. But when it's 3 in the morning and you're trying to sleep because you need to get up in about 3 hours, the last thing you want to hear is thudding, thumping and shouting. I get a little bit angry that people can't understand this basic courtesy.

And finally it's food. I think, having paid for it's use, we should all be able to leave food in the communal areas without having to think about whether we'll go back to it and find that it's been eaten. We should be able to eat what we want in the communal areas without people looking down their nose at us for our choice of food, making themselves seem superior, or even trying to put us off our food.

Rowen

On Irritation and Isolation

I've always been a bit of a loner that's just my personality.

As a child I was perfectly able to amuse myself, from the age of about 8 my idea of a good afternoon was to curl up somewhere quiet by myself with a good book. This has probably led to my lasting obsession with books. I collect them. I love them. People tell me you'll grow out of it and get rid of them, but I could never get rid of any of my books, they're my best friends.

I've never spent more than a couple of hours a day in the company of my family, or even friends on days such as weekends and holidays where it could be helped. That is because if i push it much beyond that point I often find myself indulging in murderous thoughts towards them. Too long with any one person and their every irritating trait starts to drive me up the wall. The exception being my boyfriend who i could happily spend days at a time with.

This has meant coming to Uni is a shock to the system in another way. Here you can't escape people. They come and knock on your door and there's a good chance that if you're there someone knows and you can't risk offending them. This has meant that I've answered the door at points where i would've told my family to just get lost, they understand I need my space.  There are people here who struggle with that concept however.

I like the people here, but I don't want to tell them my exact plans for my days or meals. I don't want to be checked up on. And I certainly don't like it when they expect to be able to come into my personal space and criticise. It's not affecting them, so...

Anyway. My point kind of is they're irritating me and I'd like some space. I nearly isolated a good friend permanently in the last year going over a similar problem after spending 10 days together.

Is a little space too much to ask?

Rowen

University

Just like school... except we all live here.

Maybe we weren't so off when we were small and imagined our teachers lived at school.

Repetition: Good or Bad?

Repeptition drives me mad. It's not so much the fact that I'm hearing it again, but the fact that I've heard it before and there's a goodly chance it's already sunk in.

Having recently started Uni I was looking forwards to learning some new things, intermingled with the inevitable catch up. However I'm reading maths and I've already studied further maths as well as maths at A-level. This means that for three of my four modules I've already covered about 99% of the stuff we're doing. No big surprises that the one module which is completely new is the one I'm really enjoying...

Add to the fact that some of my lecturers are incredibly fond of repeating themselves. One keeps showing us the same thing on the internal system which we could find for ourselves three or four times every lecture.

I have no doubt that this insane ability to repeat everything will come in handy when it comes to the time to learn some new content. My real concern though, is that I won't realise when that time comes and will stay switched off.

Does unecessary repetition annoy you?

Rowen

You'll have the time of your life!

 I want to believe everyone, believe me, there's nothing I'd love more. But fact, having spent a week here and despite having met some brilliant people I don't think I am going to enjoy uni life. I'm too much of a home girl, I'm not the girl who goes looking for an adventure, I'm the one who'll happily stay in and do the familiar much to the long-term aggreivement of my friends.

I don't enjoy the parties.
I don't enjoy the independence.
I don't enjoy the being away from home.
I don't enjoy meeting new people, even though they're great people to spend time with.

And yet I'm the one of my new friends who's staying this first weekend.
The one who's sticking it out.

Why?

It's too far, I don't want to force my parents into a total of six hours driving at the end of every week.
I don't want to be a disappointment, I'm the first of my parents children to go, and they're so proud, how can I bear to let them down.
At some point in my future this may be of benefit to me, this ability to stick out the tough times and just get on with it.
Having a degree will benefit me and my boyfriend in the long-term.

But I'm scared, there's a million things scaring me, not least the fact that I'm doing a maths degree and speaking statistically it's incredibly unlikely my boyfriend and I will make it through this as a couple, but I think I'll break if we don't.
My diet has gone to pot because my cooking skills are pretty much limited to baking and I have neither the patience nor the drive to learn anything more than heating up a tin of food in the microwave.
I hate being away from home. I hate the amount of freedom it's taken from me. And the fact it's forced me to put trust into people I barely know.
I miss my family and my friends. Most of all I miss my boyfriend. I miss being in a place I know so well I could walk it blindfolded.

The truth of it is, I'm just not settling in very well...

Rowen